Things to Think About

              I met with my Senior Thesis adviser yesterday

 (I haven't actually signed up for the credit yet) and he told me he doesn't think i should do this as a Senior thesis. He thinks I should either do it as another independent study or just do it as a personal project and ask for advice and help whenever I want it from whatever faculty I want. What am I supposed to do about that? How am I supposed to take that? I know some of the professors will tear me apart and they are not fans of traditional styles, and my doc. is very traditionally styled, but really, what am I supposed to do about this? Talked to my father about it and he thinks I should do the senior thesis anyway, because what's the point in only asking for criticism from people I think will agree with me (and i agree [haha]) but what's the point in putting myself through all the extra stress and emotional turmoil of bringing it in front of a disagreeable panel? It's like asking a surrealist painter for criticism on your charcoal still-life.

I'm torn, I really am. Am I afraid of not being good enough for them? (In which case I need their advice more than ever) Or am I resigned to the idea that they can't help me?
I know I'm not an amazing filmmaker, there are a lot of things my education lacked, like how to get good audio. A VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT of filmmaking. I was taught how to get interesting sounds, how to use a contact mike, how to use other mics, but dialogue was discouraged. Honestly, WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like I've wasted four years.

Frustrated, clearly.



       In other news, I have started actually editing scenes together, and it's going alright... so far. we'll see when I step back and look at them from a detached standpoint.

Pardon my rant.

-Kevin